A friend/nurse that works with me was diagnosed with “your” cancer a couple of months before I was diagnosed. She just got a clean PET a month ago. It’s just weird. I bet I know 20 nurses with cancer.
Angie

Posted on January 27, 2012 at 1:34:44 PM by Billan

 I bet it has to do with the stress and the chemicals we have handled..I am thinking about transfering to a less stressful area..wherever that is..don’t know if it is more stressful learning something new..we’ll see..thanks so much for your comment..it helps. Hope you are having a good day!

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 7:46:21 AM by Eileen

Have you thought about getting help ? My cancer center has a Division Of Adult Psychosocial Oncology. Maybe this would help you. You would be able to say things you probally don’t discuss with family or friends.
I didn’t work in the setting your in and I did become overwhelmed and this helped me. You don’t want to become depressed more than you now are.

Maybe you could see if you have a short term disabilty plan at work. It would not be full pay but you would not loose your insurance.

Just a couple thoughts.

I hope things work out for you. You are in a tough position.
Bill

Posted on January 27, 2012 at 12:50:47 PM by Private User

 I have had counseling in the past..never had been given tools to help with the situation..just venting and that is alright to a point. I work with some really good people and they will help with my assignments..have been thinking about transfering to a less critical area..but, I am going to give it a little more time. I will be better to myself and make sure that I take more time off. I get so frustrated though..because it seems like I just can’t take the time off ..at home..I dwell on it..at least at work..it keeps me occupied. I had fmla during my cancer treatment..I may look into that again with my primary care doctor for days that are just too hard to get to work..I appreciate your comments..they are very helpful..and just very suprised..you think you have it all together and then bam..wasn’t ready or prepared for the aftermath. It will be alright..does it go away? Hope you are having a good day and thanks so much..

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 7:50:26 AM by Eileen

 Thanks Bill..I have thought about all of those things. I am going to give it a little more time and see what I am finally going to do. I appreciate your support and suggestions. I wish my cancer doc had a more supportive office. I just found out on my own after my chemo that there is a leukemia and lymphoma support group that meets once a month there ..and had blundered through the first 2 chemo treatments before I started to find people to help..but, I was happy when my doc told me it was ptsd-felt better..felt like I was losing my mind…hope you are having a good day and thanks so much again!

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 11:57:35 AM by Eileen

 Any support you find can help. You have found one here on BFAC.
If you do decide to take a break from working the MLFA is with no pay and only protects you for 12 weeks. If you have a short term disability benefit some only allow this to be used only once in year. Hang in there one day at a time. We all keep fighting and you will win.
Bill

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 12:42:16 PM by Private User

Eileen, this is a good place to start venting! That’s a lot on your plate. Bad enough your health concerns, and then your family, then dealing with life and death issues everyday at work is overwhelming. At least I can zone out at home on my computer or watch tv, but you dont have that. Maybe the work place has counseling, do it on your own in private or with a support group to help? I never did any of that, right or wrong, but sometimes you just want to scream being so overwhelmed and sometimes we need extra help. Another thing to consider is family medical Leave act from work to take care of your health neends, but you wont get paid unless you have some time coming to you, have short term disabilty or out on workers compensation for your back. Maybe you can sneak in an extended weekend someplace to relax, a night on the town or do something else for yourself instead of others? How about seeing about switches work areas to soemthing less critical or stressfull, if there such a thing in medical settings.

I hope this helps, and fully understand. Take care and keep posting…Paul

Posted on January 27, 2012 at 12:52:20 PM by Paul

I didnt see any of the posts before mine, so sorry if I repeated myself. I think stress has a lot to do with diseases, besides exposure to chemicals. I’m not in the medical medical field, but read such from reading for my own health concerns.

Posted on January 27, 2012 at 1:02:25 PM by Paul

 Paul..thanks so much for your thoughts and advise..I was not prepared for the fall out after chemo..thought..life just picked up where I left off and no more issues..WRONG! Some days are better than others..yesterday was bad..I had fmla during chemo..didn’t use much of it..I may look into it again..intermittent fmla for the days it is difficult to get here..there are just some days that it is tough to do the work..I am going to be better to myself and take more days off…not sure if transferring to another area would be less stressful..got a lot to think about..talking to someone..I have done in the past and it didn’t really seem to help..but, we’ll see how it goes..I like to work..I am afraid I will be worse if I didn’t have destraction..who knows..I plan some beach trips..get aways to the water..maybe that will help..Hope you are having a good day..thinking about you and thanks so much again. I appreciate your comments and advice more than you know.

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 7:55:10 AM by Eileen

Eileen,
I had a somewhat parallel situation. I was a health educator in the 1980s, working in a program for high risk infants. At the time, my husband and I were undergoing infertility treatment. I got pregnant, but the baby was stillborn at 27 weeks. I managed to compartmentalize my work and my life. (We adopted our three children, all of whom are now adults). I’m not sure how, but I kept going at work. I don’t know if this applies to cancer directly and I have no handy hints,unfortunately. Hang in there and keep posting.
Andrea

Posted on January 27, 2012 at 12:56:49 PM by Andrea

 Andrea, it is the same. I had been doing well the whole time..worked during chemo except for a few days. I had intermittent fmla and used it rarely..only when my counts dropped out and I started getting wierd infections at the end of my treatment..it has been this last week that really got to me..I have good people I work with that can help me to navigate my assignments. I don’t want to transfer, but, that has been a thought..just need to see how it goes and take more me time..plan more days off..that will probably help. I thought when chemo was over I could just pick up where I left off and get going again and it surprised me when that wasn’t the case. I like work..it keeps me busy and I get perspective when it isn’t too tragic..even then, there is a lesson. I appreciate your sharing your story..that did help..it is just so frustrating..this has been more devistating than I had thought it was..silly me. Hope you are doing well and I thank you for your support. Have a good day.

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 8:02:08 AM by Eileen

Eileen you are so stressed working in ICU then the added personal issues your dealing with. I’m a former ICU nurse and had to leave for a less stressful work environment. I totally understand the emotional as well as physical toll this is taking on you. Is there a chance you could go on disability until you are feeling better. I transferred to a less demanding position in a surgery center dealing with healthy patients having curative surgery and going home that same day. It is a pleasant environment -patients and families are so appreciative of all the care and teaching I give. II would hope you could find something like this to lighten the burden you are carrying. I am sending you hugs and prayers!

Posted on January 27, 2012 at 12:58:42 PM by Private User

You are in my prayers. You have a lot on your plate. Try (if you can) to put yourself first. You need all your strength to get you through your cancer fight.
(I hope you had a second glass of wine.)

Hugs,
Linda

Posted on January 27, 2012 at 6:47:45 PM by Linda

 Sure did! Thanks so much for your support. It means more than you will ever know. Hope you are having a good day!

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 11:51:12 AM by Eileen

Eileen,
I was in the situation of being caregiver to my brother, who had lung cancer and just passed away in September of 2011. I found out I had colon cancer in November of 2011…I understand how overwhelming so many things at one time can be, and when there is grief and fear everything is SO MUCH WORSE. It’s been an adjustment for me to say the least, but the support here and at the hospital has been tremendous. Hang in there…will say prayers for you. Anytime you need to talk, we are all here.

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 1:47:00 AM by Linda

 Wow Linda! I am so sorry to hear about your brother and then you get cancer..yikes! Despite all of that you have the ability to be compassionate and giving to others. I appreciate your support and thank you so much. God bless you..I hope things are going well for you. Hope you are having a good day.

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 12:01:51 PM by Eileen

Hi Eileen,
I have no idea what is like to work in the situation you do where you will be constantly faced with seeing the different possibilities or outcomes that others will have to go through in this fight, but I am sure its got to be extra tough to keep positive in your own battle and in your thoughts. I also had to work through my whole treatment and although I am sure it help a little cognitively to keep a little sharper and of course pay the bills, I also really wish I would have been able to take more rest during it as it’s had its toll on me. I hope you can find some way of getting a little break or some comfort in something. Even if it is just a glass of wine.
Take Care,
Jeff

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 9:31:21 AM by Jeff

Do you have any sick leave time you can use? FMLA time? You have to take care of yourself, nothing else matters right now. Go to the the beach. Go to Ceder Key and and have a drink or 4. This crap is scary, if you weren’t overwhelmed you’d be crazy. Find a Dr to talk to. Talk ,Talk ,Talk get your fears out. Make the people around you understand them. Most of all, love every day!

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 12:09:27 PM by Kathysman

 When I talk, I feel like such a complainer. What do I have to complain about? Chemo is over and I am a lucky person to be in remission..so..why can’t I move on in my head? I read all of the personal stories here and battles with cancers far worse than mine and it angers me that I can’t just move on and be greatful. I am greatful..just battle weary. I worked just about the whole time during chemo..anxious most of it ..sick during and in bed a lot when I was at home..I work now full schedule plus an extra day here and there and now crash! My husband made the comment that he wanted “me” back-not sure who that “me” is anymore..don’t feel like “me”-don’t feel like I can plan for the future..limbo and try to live by what I preach..one day at a time..but, the brain takes over..prozac helps. A glass or 2 of wine helps..I have some days off next week and plan to just go to the beach-I sound like such a whiner…you and Kathy are facing such difficult and hard times..I need to move beyond this..I think it would be worse if I took time off..being here does help..as far as taking my mind off things ..except when I take care of someone that hits close to home..I need to make some decisions. I am burned out. I just want to run scream sometimes..don’t like not being in control..although..I haven’t been for a long time..so..what the hell am I talking about????
Anyway..thanks for your support and concern..I will try to be less whiney…but, talking does help. My doctors don’t have the time to speak..they are busy moving patients through their office..it is a busy practice..my husband..I do, but, I think I stress him more..he has done well, but, this has stressed him and left an impression on him as well..so..it will work out..I will figure it out eventually..yikes! Thanks so much again..it means more than you know having someone to share feelings with..it does help. Happy to hear Kathy is in less pain and you are getting to spend time together..you are right..time is precious..that’s another thing that pisses me off about this thing my brain is doing to me..because I get that…and this is such a waste of time…Hope you are having a good day!

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 1:28:04 PM by Eileen

hey..I understand..so tough..I worked through chemo and am a physician..my husband has been out of work for 3 years..he has given up looking for work now..but I am in remission..5 months out of chemotherapy and starting to feel better. Working through chemotherapy is really rough but it does keep you going. So sorry you are going through this. In medicine, we understand and are grateful that things aren’t “worse” but also understand what can and does happen. Hang in there. People do care…

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 7:53:28 PM by Robyn

Hope you are ok…life is hard and things seem more obvious to me since my diagnosis, I seem to notice more cancer patients than before…stay strong, it’s so hard to deal with everything and help the others too.
Take care,
Doreen

Posted on January 28, 2012 at 8:44:42 PM by Doreen